Allen Bauer is rescued from drowning as a young boy off Cape Cod by a young mermaid. Years later he returns to the same location, and once again manages to fall into the sea, and is rescued once more by the mermaid (Allen isn't sure what he's seen and what he's imagined). The mermaid decides to search for Allen in New York, sprouting legs when her tail dries. On finding Allen, they fall in love, but she has a secret, which will no longer be a secret if she gets her legs wet..

From the dawn of man to the distant future, mankind's evolution (or lack thereof) is traced. Often ridiculous but never serious, we learn the truth behind the Roman Emperor, we learn what REALLY happened at the Last Supper, the circumstances that surrounded the French Revolution, how to test eunuchs, and what kind of shoes the Spanish Inquisitor wore.